You’re back from the gluttony of turkey-day and the cold slap of reality meets you at the office door: It’s review time. Keep that smile on and your list of outstanding accomplishments at the ready.
Most of you should be dropping neatly into that top-20%-tier ranking of ‘outstanding’. Because as we learned in MBA school only one-fifth of any group could possibly perform at the outstanding level. Never 5% and certainly never 50%.
But remember, if your design did not turn a profit within one quarter you are ripe for the bottom 10% and your very own, custom designed PIP.
And the rest of you, the 70% lump of mediocrity, will simply have to stew in your bile of sameness. You excuse-for-designers need to consider an MBA and now. The MBA program will shape you into a winner, an Alpha performer, who will lead design into the next three months with vim and vigor. Competition will be your lifeblood, expertness at everything your mantra; no more 70%- you’ll be a twenty-percenter from here on out.
Now get into that conference room and turn off that cell phone, unless you’re with Sprint in which case you don’t have a signal anyway.
The idea of contrast is an important design tip when thinking about anything from typography to how you dress yourselves (pay attention here all you engineers).
Contrast is the play of lightness vs. darkness and the striking effect you can create from the differences. This young man has a firm grasp of the idea. His striking red paint contrasts nicely with the white tile wall of that…room.
The idea of contrast can apply to almost any situation. Make the most of it and let your design savvy shine!
now be a warrior and get out there and use contrast!
November 4, 2013 at 10:16pm
How I Win Races
When I roll the Hodaka onto the track it’s imperative I have an edge. Like I share a good halibut casserole recipe I am now sharing one of my deepest, darkest secrets to how I win on Sundays.
Kept under lock and key in the Winnebago until needed, this secret ingredient is particularly effective in two-strokes.
win on Sunday sell on Monday
Second Place is Not Good Enough
This young lad appears to be smugly satisfied with his second place finish. The way he brandishes his results makes me uncomfortable. Obviously he needs some training-up in the Alpha-Arts via a fine MBA program.
Failure does not produce winners. Ask any successful MBA man and they will tell you to optimize quarterly returns one must hit the home run on the first pitch. Failure does not provide share-holder value.
I do give him credit for his fine design sense in choosing a stylish one-piece leisure-outfit, with trendy stripey things.
I believe this young man is destined for failure, archery in France excepted.
oh hell yeah
October 16, 2013 at 11:52pm
A true design / business man.
Go forward Walter and bake bread in the great beyond.
Art is Not Design
It’s a sad state of affairs when designers head down the pathetic road of creating ‘art’. But when these old-boy MBA-types lose their way and claim the need to ‘find themselves’ through art I consider that a catastrophic problem. Some sort of mid-life crisis that unfortunately does not involve a Miata.
A good salve could be the quick survey of a cook-book and an afternoon in the kitchen creating a souffle; or the therapeutic barking at underlings until they cry. Either one may solve his problems.
Although in the end he may be suffering from subliminal issues rising to the surface; what I would call an edifice complex.
I must compliment the leisure outfit; almost French.
September 19, 2013 at 8:53pm
It’s All About the Boots
One very memorable class I remember from MBA Alpha school was ‘The Importance of One’s Bearing’. This is where you are taught to dress well, walk straight and let everyone in the room know what small-brained people they really are; exemplified simply through the way you dress and the way you walk into a room.
I can tell you friends, this young man will command the room when he rides into it later this morning to give his powerpoint presentation. His Gant charts will be followed closely, his Monte Carlo taken for granted, and his data never questioned for context. This lad will be the leader of the conference room. And it’s not just because of the boots, but his overall attention to “one’s bearing’. His leather pants, his leisure jumper and of course his helmet all contribute to his overall message. Nothing says ‘business’ more clearly than walking into a room with a helmet under your arm.
I’m sure his day was outstanding, he was promoted at once, and someone may have even called him “champ”.
Driving on two wheels means less friction and therefore improved efficiencies; less tire wear, less fuel used- it’s more like a bicycle!
These cost savings will be passed on which means this young man is giving back to his investors. Now that’s shareholder value!
I’m sure he was promoted once he go to work for this fine example of quarterly return efficiency!
(Source: racingguy1555, via oldschool-brain)
I would like to formally welcome Morris Wonderstick to the organization. Although Morris had been with us for some time now I thought it appropriate that we get his name out to all of our fans and followers.
Morris is a certified designer and program manager. He is responsible for operations here and writing the new regulations around my latest creation: the Regulations Of International Design and Business Acumen Group- aka ROID-BAG. The Roid-Bag will be a SIG-type group regulating design and forcing MBA style Alpha-practices onto the design world for a better world.
Additionally, and some of you may already know this, when you write to us for recipes, design considerations, props or to book me for speaking engagements Morris is the man your talking to.
Although Morris does not participate in the true deep thinking around the power of design and why design should always sublimate to the MBA Alpha operators, he does challenge us occasionally on our parking abilities and vending machine selections.
Although not really handsome, remarkable or a genius, Morris is passable, kind of ordinary and pretty witty. Don’t let this influence your questions about design and my righteous MBA pedigree; he’ll pass those questions directly on to me through his manager Winona.
In his spare time Morris heads up the USCF Cat 6 cycling class around here. So all you interested in not really racing should send Morris a note about joining him on the weekly rides through crowded Centennial Park here in Metuchen. Helmets optional.